In college, there are so many things you have to balance:
- Work and Play
- Phil 1504 and American Lit 2526
- Sleep and Study
- Home and Dorm
- This Group of Friends... and That Group of Friends
None of these are easy, and no one's balance ends up the same. I've got the Work/Play down pretty well, the Sleep/Study thing will be ongoing forever, Home/Dorm settle themselves out once you get in a groove, and today I'm toying with Phil 1504 and American Lit 2526.
The worst of these is the last, the groups of friends.
There are two different conflicts. First, you have the friends from your high school/hometown that you want to keep in touch with. You want to know how their lives are going, and you want to let them know what's new with you. For the first few weeks it's pretty easy because no one really has their own life yet and you're still missing those kids. But as time goes on, you have to make an effort for a Skype date and to make sure you have time to get online and chat with them to see how college is treating them. But that can be so hard because a part of you has changed. You're not exactly the same person you were when you walked across that stage at graduation, and it's hard to fit back into the mold you left behind last summer. None of you are- yet you care about each other still, so you both try to be that combination of "old you" and "new you" so that you don't lose touch. I, personally, love my hometown people and will do my best to always be in touch with them, but I will admit it's not exactly easy all the time.
The second issue is friends actually on campus with you. Not everyone is going to get along, and sometimes people don't mesh as much as you would like them to. For example: I love hanging out with both Mason and Marshal, but doing so at the same time is an issue. They live completely different lives and have totally different stories to share.
We tried this Friday night- we ended up with too many plans, but didn't want to miss out on the dinner with Mason and that group, yet we told Marshal we would hang out with him that night- we thought combining the two would be no big deal. It wasn't bad, and I enjoyed myself for most of it, but there were several little awkward moments when Sara and I just exchanged a "how in the world do we fix this?" look. I felt even worse when afterwards Marshal even admitted to me how strange it had been to be with that whole group in such a setting. I want to be able to be with both groups all the time, but if they don't click, what can I do?
Clearly, balance is something I still have to work on. I think it's one of those things I'll be working on all of my life. As soon as I get this friend thing figured out, I'll have to balance between (one day) boyfriend/husband vs. friends vs. family. After that it will be in-laws vs. blood-relatives vs. friends, and then when does it ever end?
(and how SCARY is it that I'm at the point in my life where these sort of worries are normal?? I didn't sign up for this whole growing-up thing!)
'deeeeeeeeeeeep breath'
Balance isn't easy for anyone, and it's something that everyone has to face. There's no net on under this high-wire, so the only chance we have is to do our best and pray. Every step needs to be taken with thought and if somewhere along the way someone gets upset, you simply have to explain your actions and point out that you're trying your best.
But today is Sunday, so I think I'll just go hide in my room and eat an entire bag of chips and let Monday deal with the rest...
Curl Girl, out!
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