Then what means "yes"?
...I don't think it's "no," as I'm pretty sure the saying goes "no means no."
Here's the situation:
Sara needs a boy to understand that he's just a friend.
I also need a boy to realize that he's only (and just barely) a friend.
But with the code the world has created, how are we supposed to do any of that? Girls are always accused of being manipulative and not saying what we mean, but the girls who say what they mean are automatically labeled as b*tches. Does that seem fair at all? In the end, is it better to be mistrusted because of manipulation, or disliked because of blunt honesty?
Sara's boy is actually Marshal, whom I've spoken of before. He asked her "formally" out to lunch, which is cute since he's a cadet. He really is an adorable boy... but he's shorter than Sara, and she really dislikes that. He also doesn't give her quite the butterfly feeling she's looking for, which is totally understandable. So yesterday I got the frazzled text from her asking me what she should do. I wasn't really sure because it's one of those situations where we still want him around, but saying no is going to hurt him in some fashion. The solution we came up with together was for her to go to lunch with him, but to make it clear that they were just friends. Maybe he'll see that they are better off that way... or maybe she'll feel a spark? I'll update you on that when the lunch happens, probably sometime around Monday.
The boy I'm dealing with is a typical situation. See... I believe an outsider might say I was "leading him on." I promise you that I had no intention of doing this. I love to dance, he needed a dance partner at a party I went to, we were shoved together by a mutual friend, and I continued to dance. Is it my fault that the DJ just knew how to jam? Anyway, he seemed like a fun guy, so when he started chatting me up on Facebook, I talked to him. But hey, I talk to my brother on Facebook so I don't think that should really count as anything. He's now made it clear that he wants to hang out with me on a "more than friends" level, and not only am I not ready for that, but if I was I don't think I would be with him. So I'm stuck in the same position Sara is- how do you say "no" without hurting the guy? For someone he is perfect! He's just not for this Curl Girl, who is enjoying being too busy with all her classes and friends too much to worry about a boy all the time. So, I tried to nicely point out that I'm busy all weekend, which is the truth, but that I hoped he would have a good weekend too! Ugh... does it ever get easier?
My advice: Don't dance with a single boy you know on any small level, it's just too messy. Dance with strangers you don't mind just walking away from, or boys who you're friends with who are totally aware that you have no intentions of anything other than getting your boogy on!
But when that boy comes along that Sara and I want to say "yes" to... how does one even say that? Looks to me like the only option there is to just throw yourself to the lions and pray God likes you as much as he liked Daniel.
So I think I'll stick to dancing with the girls, and pretending I don't even see the boys around us...
Curl Girl, out!
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